Reminsince

Been going through a lot lately. I guess it all comes down to it, like I've always said, at the end of the day you think about everything you've done and it just seems worth whatever pain you've gone through, cause you're actually doing something worthwhile, making others happy, and that in essence of itself makes you feel better.

I can honestly say without a shadow of a doubt that if you give your life to the Lord that He'll bless you more then you could ever imagine, and give you all your needs and more. Not to say that no one could be happy elsewhere, but I think that if it's really the Lord's will for your life to surrender it to Him then you'll be so much happier, so much more fulfilled.

Sometimes I meet people out witnessing and I just feel so sad because a lot of them (again, I'm not saying all of them) aren't really doing anything with their lives, just rotting away in their miserable existence, slaving away day after day, trying to pay the bills.

And what else is there to do in the world except for just that? They don't know much else, except for what the church has shown them, which no one wants a part of anyway because it's so dead.

I felt like that for awhile, it's so dead, so empty. You tell yourself that things'll get better once you get this, or get that, or if you just try to forget about it, but it's this aching emptiness inside that drives you insane, and when there's nothing around to distract you, it just all comes out.

It's this undescribable feeling of being alone, without Jesus it's pretty sad, so miserable. You tell yourself you can live your life alone, you don't need anyone to help you or make you happy and close yourself into this corner, secretly wishing someone would come, someone would understand, someone could make things better. But you know what?

Living for yourself sucks. You can tell yourself all you want that you're so "happy", that you honestly don't care at all, but why lie to yourself? It does matter. I know what I've seen in others, and what I've personally experienced, that if you let Jesus change your life, even though it's a lot of self-sacrifice you'll definitely be happier.

Even though it's a bit tough right now, I don't think I've smiled this much in years, in fact, I haven't smiled this much in my whole life. Not to say that my whole life was miserable, I really loved my parents (I love you Daddy!) and growing up with my brothers and sisters, but I just feel so much happier now that I've yielded to Jesus, and there's NOTHING in this world that's going to take that away from me.