Yeah so my 16th birthday is coming up and I don't feel any different from when I first started my six months. Sometimes I think that life is way too crazy for me. Especially when you want something so bad it hurts. I LOVE YOU. I love you so much that it's driving me insane. I wish I was a better person for you, I wish I had all the talents and the drive and initiative that you have but I just don't. I feel like the luckiest person alive when I look at you, but these things just never last. I wonder if there is human love that lasts... I wish I had more control of my emotions. Sometimes I just look at you and think about how good you are, and it just amazes me how you can be so committed and not deter, not even for a moment. You'd do anything for Jesus, you'd help anyone, and that's a quality that a lot of people don't have. I wish I was like you were, I really wish I could be good enough for you, but I'm not. Gack, these feelings are just way too weird to express. I want to hang on to this, but everything in me is telling me to just, let, it, go. I just don't know what to do with myself, I don't want to. I love you way too much for that baby. But it just doesn't seem to be working. I guess if circumstances were different maybe you'd feel the same, but that's life. I know what you're thinking, but I mean every word of this. And I think I'll just have to learn to say goodbye. It's been great, so great to have been with you. My memories with you are the best I've ever had in my life. We've been through so much together, and I want to thank you for it all, you've taught me so much, and I don't know where I'd be without you. I love you honey.