Normal?!

Sometimes you just want to crawl up into a little ball and wish you were normal, like every other teenaged girl. The one that has friends, boyfriends, and isn't over-weight, just a happy normal weight like 110. The one that doesn't live in the middle of nowhere in this little hole...siigh.

Not the one that is short, fat, has zero friends, and no boyfriends (because of reason no1), and doesn't weigh something ridiculous like 200 pounds (No I don't just incase your wondering I'm not THAT fat), and lives around a happy, small population, at least.

You try really hard to make it work, but it never does, so you end up frustrating yourself even more, so much that you feel like killing yourself. So you choose the easier way out, by disctracting yourself with other stupid stuff, where you see other people who are like said normal person above, which of course results in a vicious cycle of making you even more depressed, but it's like a little temporary high from the reality which is you are pathetic.

Like this retarded dream I had last night, that I went back to wordstock and this guy I liked saw me, didn't hang out with me cause I was fat and ended up making out with this other chick in front of me on LJ night. Funny thing is I can actually see that happening.

Oh God, I want to die.

I'm hoping maybe this is only a temporary stage, and maybe I'll get out of it, and become normal again, but at this rate it's almost depressing. All my friends have told me at least 3 times that I'm not "fat" (which is what people only say to fat people), and then there's of course the killer, which you know means you're fat "You need to work out". Aaargh, why am I cursed with this horrible metabolism? Why are people so horribly conceited? WHY CAN'T I BE A NORMAL 15 YEAR OLD GIRL GDMNIT?

No matter how hard I try, it just seems like I'll never be like any other girl, there will always be those guys that never like me even when I'm a normal weight, those people who don't think I'm skinny enough just because my ass isn't toned enough, and just...arghhh!!! @#$%#%@$%#@$@#$@#$@#$#!!!!

Oooooookay, I warned you about this weirdness in my first post. I actually better stop before I get really into this...

-Little Miss Fisher